1. Prepare
Decide what you want specifically and what you would be prepared to accept. Work out your arguments and counter arguments. Think through what the person you are negotiating with is likely to want and what their arguments will be. Construct your counter arguments. Then contemplate what an absolutely off-the-wall answer might look like for all, that not only meets current requirements but brings other advantages too.
2. The meeting
Use initial small talk to connect with your counterpart and create trust. Next, ideally, hear what they want. How you listen to them will determine how they listen to you. Then say what you want. See where you agree and then where you disagree. This is where the real negotiation begins.
3. The negotiation
Offer suggestions and compromise, but be bold. Toughness pays and often generates the opposite response from your counterpart. If you do feel intimidated, remember that you have a veto on anything you don’t like. Give away absolutely nothing free, and if you do make concessions, preface them with “If”. Think: “If you let me have that, I can give you this”.
4. The discussion mires
If you have connected with your counterpart and trust each other, detach from the point of disagreement and, together, come up with a solution. All new ideas start with a minority of one, so rubbish nothing. Seek a resolution which shifts all parties forward.
5. Agree, contract and deliver your side of the agreement
Strong delivery will improve your next negotiation.
The original version of this article was published in the June 2015 print edition of the Review